what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
is wine microwaveable?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize