Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
