I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
