Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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