i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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