It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
