Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
