apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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