Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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