I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
