Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
