Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
