Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
