I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
now i know why i became what i already was.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I think I sprained my soul last night
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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