If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
