butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
