I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Apparently you make a good broom.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
