You're completely useless in the revolution.
Yo dont text me then not text me
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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