yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
