I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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