I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
