Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
