I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You had me at "let me see your balls"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
