I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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