the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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