Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
