I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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