I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
