ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
