Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
mondays should just be called national damage control day
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
