I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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