If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
