she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
