Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
