he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
