I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
