i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Girls should come with a carfax report
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
