Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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