dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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