Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
