I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
