i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
