sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
