Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
