Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
