So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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