the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
