uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I am midnight drunk by noon
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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