ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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