marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
