So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
