well I can't set my house on fire every night
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
