We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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