he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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