The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
