you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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