I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
