1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
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