A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize