i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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