I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
