wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize