make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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