The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize