Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
