Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
