I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
