On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize