whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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