So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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