they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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